by Lauren Brown || Editor
Amsterdam is full of surprises. Whether its the abundance and ‘accidental’ stumbling upon the “coffee shops”, the seemingly invisible cycle lanes that are literally part of the pavement, causing us to dive for our lives, and how could I forget the women in varying shapes and sizes, flaunting themselves in shop windows of the RLD.
We only had two days in ‘Dayum’ an abbreviation which quickly started to wear thin after exhausting its use in the first 20 minutes. Since we only had two days, we really had to cram everything in. There are lots of things to do in Amsterdam and it was a struggle to fit them in, in such a small amount of time but I think we managed it!
Amsterdam is actually much more quaint and picturesque than I’d anticipated. The city has a really calming feel, despite how busy it seemed, which probably had something to do with how stoned and subsequently relaxed people were.
The endless canals and number of bridges, as pretty as they were, made it very easy to lose your bearings and we did just that, finding ourselves back in the Red Light District a good 20 times.
Before our trip, I looked at every useful website with lots of things to do I could find. We decided on a few places we had to visit but we really just took a leaf from everyone else’s book and just went with the flow. Every path we took, corner we turned, road we crossed, we found waffles staring back at us. We couldn’t escape them. They were every chocoholic’s dream and every diabetic’s nightmare.
Nutella, strawberries, whipped cream and oreos lay piled in a confectionary mishmash. Crepes, donuts, froyo, churros called out to me, I couldn’t resist. Much to my amazement, there were tasters everywhere and being the fatty I am I was the first to dip in and nab each and every plate full.
We found a CoffeeShop and strolled in like the clueless tourists we were. I looked around in disbelief, a stoner’s goldmine! We enquired about the different ‘services’ and I think the workers found our ignorance amusing. It’s no wonder considering I was stood there staring at electronic devices like this PAX 3 and others, wondering how on earth they linked to cannabis smoking! We soon found out though. My friend also bought a space cake and after having one taste I decided I wasn’t cut out for this weed malarkey. The man told us it tasted nice but compared to the amounts he was used to, it was probably a sweet treat to him, I was hoping it would actually taste like dessert. I have a few friends though who loved the idea of this sort of thing, so much so that they even taken a keen interest in finding out if there were places that they could get it online. They found a few sites such as http://firethc.net, but they then decided that for the full experience in Amsterdam they needed to get it themselves instead of ordering it online.
For dinner we found an Italian restaurant, called Vendredi (I’m pretty sure that’s french for Wednesday so this is probably an incorrect recollection’ The waiters spent most of the time accomodating the hen party, they’d forgotten our starters, drinks, as well as forgetting to restock the bog roll. The hens were the most reserved bunch i’d ever met, with the occassional click of fingers, uneasy dancing to kevin little ‘turn me on’ and sheepish sips from the willy shaped straws, i think it was safe to say it was the dryest hen do on record. Our food was lovely we had carbonara and Pizza.
The night ended with a few drinks in the ice bar which, if anyone is planning, I would avoid like the plaque. The workers have adopted some sort of pirate theme which includes the erratic ringing of bells, and bellowing instructions for the visitors to scream ‘ahoy captain’. Of course this didnt go down too well with a bunch of stoned adults glaring back at them.
The next day after demolishing bacon and cheese pancakes- a must in Amsterdam, we returned to the red light district. I thought, gosh they must feel so vulnerable having people leering at them all day- it was quite the opposite.
The RLD gives window shopping a whole new definition. Women stood there adjusting her bodysuits for maximum cleavage, pranced up and down staring seductively back at us. I was the one feeling vulnerable! Others just plain pissed off that they werent getting any punters.
On the way back from Dam we stopped off in Bruges which is adorable.The chocolate shops were heaven. My favourite chocolate shop was called le comptoir de mathilde and as soon as I walked in i was offered tasters of chocolate, caramel bites and even a cheeky sip of chocolate liquer.
I stated that the chocolate was so expensive there and innocently compared it to the price of dairy milk. The man in the shop reminded me that belgian chocolate is the versace of chocolate- how could i disagree with that? I would definitely recommend this shop if you’re ever in Bruge.
I then went to spend my remaining euros on 4 boxes of chocolate and 2 big bars….. no regrets.
