Andy Ryan, 45, star of the latest series of The Great British Bake Off, is sharing his unique journey through IVF from a father’s perspective for the first time, highlighting the often-unacknowledged challenges that men face during this emotionally charged process. Through ten rounds of IVF, Romford-based Andy and his partner, Nickie, navigated a difficult path toward parenthood, realising the emotional and physical toll it takes on both partners.
Andy and Nickie first met at a golf club party celebrating his 30th birthday in 2010. From the outset, Andy dreamed of a large family, “I always wanted to be a dad to a dozen. To finally become a father after all the years of IVF was an incredible feeling. We feel extremely fortunate to have our amazing daughter, Maisie.”
Their journey began with a year of trying to conceive naturally before turning to medical advice, where they received the distressing news that Nickie might not carry a child, “The doctors told us she probably wouldn’t carry due to high FSH levels. However, they overlooked her endometriosis, which was affecting those levels. If it had been treated first, things might have turned out differently.”
They commenced their IVF journey in 2011, eventually undergoing ten rounds, “When the first five attempts failed, it really took a toll on us. We had to keep believing, even when it was hard. We made trips to Madrid for treatments, turning each visit into an adventure to keep our spirits up. We’d plan nice meals out and visit local markets. It made us excited to return, rather than just viewing them as medical visits.”
Yet the emotional strain was compounded by specific challenges men face during IVF, “One of the hardest parts for me was the requirement to produce a specimen in a clinical room. The discomfort of that situation is hard to articulate being surrounded by distracting materials, hearing others outside, and needing to perform under pressure truly tests your confidence.”
The IVF process also required significant support for Nickie, who faced the physical repercussions of hormone injections, “As a man, finding the right way to support my partner during this time was challenging. I found myself questioning, ‘Am I doing enough? Am I being supportive? Is this process really going to work?’ That self-doubt crept in often.”
Andy’s support was tested further by the emotional aftermath of multiple miscarriages, including one involving triplets, “When we learned we were expecting triplets, I was both thrilled and terrified. But when we miscarried at ten weeks, I felt devastated. It struck me how much I wanted to be a father.”
Andy recalls the anxiety they faced during the 8-week scan that ultimately confirmed Maisie’s pregnancy, “At that point, we were expecting twins, but when we lost one, I just wished we could fast forward to the moment we would finally bring our baby home. The fear of facing another miscarriage was overwhelming.”
Finally, when Maisie was born, Andy describes feeling a mix of joy and disbelief, “It was the most beautiful moment, and I was shocked – I was expecting her to be a boy! But even then, we faced challenges. Nickie had to undergo a C-section, which added to the emotional rollercoaster we were on.”
Andy has a message of support for other men navigating similar paths, “Don’t give up. Miracles do happen, even if it tests your relationship. Be prepared for ups and downs, but believe in the journey and the process. Be patient and understanding. The injection process can be tough for your partner, and while it’s important to maintain a positive outlook, acknowledging the physical toll is equally significant. Remember, it can be challenging for you too, whether it’s the clinical settings, the emotional pressure, or the role of support. It’s crucial to communicate openly about your fears and doubts.”
